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And following links from other people's pages, I ended up on a (apparently) gay man's page. This person hasn't "come out of the closet" yet, but apparently the office Christmas party will have at least one big surprise for his co-workers unless they've already guessed at his orientation since:
"if you're male, over 40, never married and no kids, why, it's obvious!"
Apparently, if you meet these simple criteria, you're Gay.
Ahem, that's a rather broad statement in my humble opinion. I have no doubt about my
sexual orientation. And I try not to be homophobic.
- I am male
- I am over 40 (getting a little farther past 40 every year)
- I have never been married
- I have no children (nor any desire to procreate - I would be happy to adopt, however)
Let's explore these minor details (since I have little else to do at the moment).
I am male. I like being male. Simply by being male, I have an easier life than most females(that I know). I like women. In most cases, I prefer the company of women. However, there are times where it's better to "hang with the guys". I like looking at women. I like what looking at women does to me. Women just look better naked than men, in my opinion. All gradual curves and the shadows they can produce.
I'm over 40. Yup, and no mid-life crisis I can think of. I amuse myself by thinking that since I'll be 44 this year, I qualify for two 22-year olds for my birthday. In reality, they'd probably kill me, but what a way to go, eh? The closest thing to a mid-life crisis I can think of is the fact that I bought a new vehicle, rather than a "used". Duh! It was a good deal with the perks I had available to me.
I've never been married. Mostly because I'm lousy at dating and I'm shy. I've been mightily attracted to some women. I've dated one of two of them. Unfortunately, I often get stuck on the dreaded "friend" shelf.
I haven't bothered to take good care of myself physically, I admit. I'm not hugely out of shape, but I'm no fashion statement, either. Well, "Don't look like this" is a statement, I suppose.
And I've mis-handled my finances in the past, which I am finally beginning to recover from. So I don't have a lot of cash to be spending on dates.
On the positive side of all this, I am a born listener. That is a quality most women prefer - in their friends. All my female friends tend to blab on and on when I'm around. It's difficult to even get a word in edge-wise. Sometimes it is good conversation and sometimes there are lots of meaningless detours and details I could care less about. In some cases, there are questions or observations that I'd like to make, but by the time the diatribes wind down, we are so far away from the subject,I've forgotten the point, or the observation no longer makes any sense.
I am picky about the women I find myself attracted to. Being tall myself, I prefer tall women. I prefer tall proportionate women. I've found recently that large-breasts can be a major distraction in that they interfere with my ability to establish any relationship (I'm sure I'll have to explain that further). I find big breasts intimidating because I lose all muscular control over my eyes? I don't know. In one situation I found myself staring more than is polite.
Ah, there's another one: "polite". My few male friends tell me I'm "too nice". This trait leads to the "friend" bin more often than not. I've lost track of the number of times I've hear the women complain that they wish their significant other treated them the way I do. And yet, when it was time for this or that woman to move on to another significant other...I'm out of the picture because they "don't want to ruin/lose the friendship".
I am lousy at dating. I'm a gutless wonder (shy) at asking someone out. Oh dear lord, what will we do if she says yes?
Or maybe I'm just confused. It seems most often to me, that two people get together, have sex, and then figure out if they like each other or not. Sorry, I'd prefer to sleep with a friend than a stranger. For one thing, the sex can be a whole lot better. Though that is not always true come to think of it. But, for the most part, in my limited experience, it is true. But I would like to know the person I'm sleeping with to some extent.
Wow, I've had an epiphany which is too long to cover here. Hopefully I can hold onto that thought, and continue with it, and maybe put it into practice. Back to our regularly scheduled advertising:
Regarding dating: If I ask you out, it means that I would eventually like to get you into bed. I'm just not in a hurry. I'd like to find out what you like, and what you don't like. Is that just too logical?
I don't have children, nor do I wish to pro-create. There are two very simple reasons:
One, I don't trust myself around new-borns or the very young. I am the oldest of three and there are 7 and 13 years between us. I've had all the experience with that age group that I care to.
Two, genetics. My sister suffers from a birth defect. I had a cousin, on the same side of the family, born with almost the exact same birth defect. Unfortunately, that cousin did not survive. My sister, however, is 37 and living life. But I've seen the pressures and pain both situations caused, and I have no wish to inflict that on anyone just so I can have kids. Willing to adopt? Well, at my age, most women have children of their own and they are part and parcel of the woman and any relationship. And they are mostly grown to the point you can communicate with them and clearly illustrate what is right and what is wrong.
So, there we go. I've managed to get some crap expunged from my head, defended my sexuality for no reason in particular, and I've made it past lunch time here at work.
Oh gross! next up, year-end retro-spection. Everybody does it, why don't I? Why do I feel the need?
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